Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Can someone help me get into a routine with my family??? Ugh! I am done with chemo. So thrilled that I am done with chemo, but I just don't feel myself yet. I am trying so hard to act like everything is normal, especially around people who don't know me that well, but it is so freaking hard to do!

All I want to do is get my kids routines for school down, but with my 5 year old just starting kindergarten and trying to make friends for my 4 year old (who I have been so bad about making playdates for) and my almost 2 year old starting transitional twos, I cannot get my shit together. And, when I meet people and want to plan all of this stuff, I am so freaking tired right now that I don't know where my head is!

I know, I know, I don't need to do all of this stuff right now, but I think I am so desparate to get into a routine and get this cancer crap behind me, that I am making myself nuts in the process!

Oh, and I was trying to be inspired by Christina Applegate's struggle with breast cancer, but then I realized that she didn't have to go through chemo (which is truly awful and humiliating, especially with the hair loss and I don't care what anyone else says, I still hate the hair thing) and she also didn't have a family to worry about. She just had to worry about herself. I do not like feeling jealous of her fortunate situation, and I know there are too many women in a worse situation than I am, but I cannot find solace with her cancer story. Will I find solace with any story? Yes, I have and I do. Working on finding a support group because I cannot deal with this in my head anymore. I am working on the support group, but haven't found it yet...I'll let you know when I do...See, so I'm not always positive and happy. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a nicer attitude for the readers at large. Tonight, I just feel like bitching. Thanks for listening...

1 comment:

  1. Frankly, I don't think there's been enough bitching.

    Glad you're looking for a group. There are probably a lot of resources online too.

    Don't worry about the kids having play dates and stuff. Just get used to the schedule of getting the kids to all the schools they need to be at for now. The rest will come.