Thursday, May 6, 2010

Paper Mache Anyone???

Today, my oldest child turned 6...I just love the curls!!!  We had a great day today!  I just cannot believe he turned 6!  I'm not wondering where the time went or how I miss him being little, but I am just so proud of hm and what a sweet boy he has become!

This year for his birthday, I decided to have seven of his closest friends over for a playdate birthday party.  Two kids are coming from across the street to organize a kickball game for them (how long could that last???), they want to play war with his 1,000 little plastic army soldiers, they will have dinner and dessert, watch some Tom & Jerry (who doesn't love those guys???) and they are going to do an art project. 

Now, my son is very into Star Wars and I was trying to think of a project where they could spend some time doing an art project that they can destroy afterwards.  So, I've decided to make paper mache Death Stars that I'll fill with some army soldiers and the boys can destroy them after they decorate them and get a prize inside!!! 

Sound good so far?  Well, so far so good, but you cannot make paper mache anything in a few hours, so I'm starting the process of making the Death Stars.  My plan is to have them primed and ready so the kids need only decorate and destroy...but it is not a quick process to make these things!  So, here is Phase I of the project: 

I'll keep updating as time goes on so you can see the progress and finished product.  I know so many friends who will probably think I'm crazy for spending so much time on a party trick that will be destroyed, but I think my son will appreciate it...and if not, I'll kick his butt!  (Okay, not really)  I planned this party for 4 hours.  I just need to make sure I can entertain this group of 5 and 6 year old kids long enough that they don't destroy my house or each other!  I'll bet I can make this art project drag on for at least 15 minutes.  What do you think???

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Did it really not post???

Oy vey!  I was in the oncologists office waiting for a cancer flu shot treatment and I spent alot of time talknig about my dichotomy:  I am so happy to feel good physically, yet, I feel so "ok" with the emotional stuff.  I want to feel good about all of it but I just don't!  I know it is great going to see my oncologist, especially when she tells me how great everything is going physically, but mentally, everytime I'm scheduled to go in for a treament, I freak out!  What's up with that?  I'd like to think I'm doing fine, but after my social worker talk today , I have alot of work to go...even though my surgeries are finished and I have nipples to show the world.  I'm not going to do that, but now I could!

My social worker told me that I'm heading into the hardest part...the part where there is no treatment...I thought I was home free, but my mind is telling me otherwise.  My mind keeps freaking out for nothing, though I really think it's the end of the cyclical treatments I've had.  I can be as smiley as I want to be and as happy as I can be because treatments are over, but I still have these nagging thoughts in my head about being alone in this cancer world. 

I've already gone the route of dealling with cancer once.  I read some womens' blogs about recurrence.  i just cannot imagine that!  But they deal with it gracefully and with strength I cannot begin to imagine...I guess I am just fearful that I don't want to do this again.  I don't know that I can be this strong the second time around...

I love life, I love my kids, I adore my husband, I am so thankful of the things I can do now, but these nagging feelings about the things that have changed in my life drive me crazy!