Open Mouth, Insert Foot, Take 2

I said something to my mom tonight that I just shouldn't have mentioned. I tried to avoid her earlier in the day because I knew I could not keep my mouth shut, but she just really didn't need to hear this.

What brililant thing did I say? Well, it all started almost 2 years ago...my brother had elective surgery and had complications from that surgery. He died from complications but they think what ultimately killed him were 2 contaminated batches of a blood thinner called Heperin. My parents are still working on a lawsuit against the drug manufacturer, but they still have a lot of hurdles to get through to prove the Heperin killed him.

So, fast forward a year from his death and I am diagnosed with breast cancer. Not fun for my parents, I assure you, as they only had 2 kids: my brother and myself. Now, after all I've been through (I know, I know, it could have been worse), this little thing happened today and I told my mom about it:

I was having a Herceptin treatment today (Herceptin is the miracle IV drug for Her2Neu positive breast cancer patients) and later in the day I was going to have a MUGA scan (to make sure the Herceptin has not f-ed up my heart). The kindly nurse with a foreign accent (from the Herceptin treatment) offered to leave the IV needle in my arm so that I wouldn't have to be poked again for the MUGA scan, as both procedures required IV needles. Not only did I appreciate her help with that, but I understood her to that point. Then, she says that she has to "flush the IV line" with saline and something else (that I couldn't quite understand) to make sure the IV was prepped for the MUGA scan. "Okay," says the stupid patient. I always assume the nurses know what they are doing. While she is putting the unknown substance in my arm, it finally hit me what the other stuff was besides saline..."Did you say, 'Heperin?'" says me. "Yes," says the nurse. Then I started freaking out, after the shit was in my body. I told her the story of my brother and thus, the reason for my concern. She assured me over and over again that this was fine and different than the stuff given to most patients, that this Heperin is specifically for port flushes...

Needless to say, that put me over the edge today. Not only do I get smacked by breast cancer, but then I get slapped with this shit that might have contributed to my brother's death? Ugh!

I just cannot hide stuff like this from my mom, but I think I put her over the edge tonight when I told her what happened. I mean, for once, I couldn't have kept my mouth shut? How stupid was I to think that she'd be able to handle news like that. I'm going to have to call her back to make sure she's okay, but I know I should have kept that quiet...oh well.

I kept telling her everything is fine, everything is fine, but she still just didn't need to hear that. Neither did I need to be subjected to that crap today, either. 2010 cannot come quickly enough for me! Oh, and have I told you before how much I HATE not having hair and eyelashes???