Friday, February 12, 2010

I could not will the plane fast enough…

I just finished a week of being away from my husband and my kids.  I’ve had two mimosas, and could have another, but I only want them to get some sleep on the plane…but I cannot sleep.  I am so excited to go home and see my three kids.  I cannot wait to feel their arms wrap around me.

Yesterday, I was kayaking in the Pacific Ocean. It was an absolutely glorious experience, both physically and mentally.  A year ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It changed my life, literally.  I never thought about the fact that this tumor could kill me, I just thought about how to get rid of it and make my life normal again.  And there I was, a year later, kayaking for two plus hours, battling waves, searching for grey whales and sea lions, and fighting off the sea sick nausea that kept nagging me.  While I was feeling ill, I kept saying to myself, “C’mon, Paula, you’ve fought worse things than this.  Just shake out a burp and you’ll be okay…”  Okay, I know, too much information, but that was all I kept thinking, “You fought chemotherapy, you can handle sea sickness!” 

The good news is that I didn’t barf, much to my guide’s chagrin (he told us if we were going to barf, to let everyone know so they could watch…).  But I am telling you, as I was working my way back to shore, paddling and feeling quite exhausted and queasy, I felt like I was never going to get back to shore.  I thought, for sure, the waves would propel me faster to shore, but they didn't and I just could not get to the shore fast enough!  I just wanted to have my Fred Flinstone car to use my legs to help run me back onto the beach…it felt like forever.  Just like this plane flight to get home to my little ones, and my husband.  I wish I could flap my wings and get us home faster, but I cannot.  I will just sit here and write and not sleep and think about all of the fun things I want to do with my kids when I get home.  And I cannot wait!

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