What a Day...Can My Description Do It Justice???

Where do I begin?  I'll start with the fact that my youngest daughter, she's almost three, has been sick since Tuesday, I just thought she had a stomach bug, but she was getting a bad cough by last night, so I decided today that I should take her to the doctor. 

So, after the normal antics of trying to get three small kids ready for school, you know, screaming about brushing hair and teeth, getting them to sit down and actually eat their breakfast, fighting about not watching TV before breakfast, am I the only one who goes through this each morning???  Oh, and the two-year old has to fight me on whatever I choose for her to wear and to fight me about changing her diaper...I FINALLY get the 1st grader and kindergartener off to school and I make a doctor's appointment for right then.

I get my youngest to the doctor's appointment on time, and while I'm in his office, my phone rings and it looks like the number for the nurse at the elementary school.  So, I pick it up and the nurse says, "Hi Mrs. N, your daughter is here and she says her ears hurt her.  She doesn't have a fever but she's acting kind of clingy to the teacher's aide and she seems a bit weepy.  I think you need to come get her."  So, I look at the doctor and tell him the story and he tells me to bring her in right away.  Thank goodness I live close to both the school and doctor's office.  So, I run into the school to pick up my daughter, who is acting fine and happy, by the way, and run her back to the doctor's office. 

After a quick check up he determines that she's fine.  So he asks her if she wanted to go back to school or if she thought she needed to stay home with Mommy.  She said she needed to stay home with Mommy, at which point I told her that she was going back to school.  So, after a sticker and some animal crackers at the doctor's office, we go back to school.  In the car ride, she kind of mentions something about a fire alarm, but I didn't really get the gist so I just told her that fire alarms can be loud and send her back to class on her merry way...and she seems totally fine with that.

So, after school, I told the teacher that she tends to be a bit of a Sandra Bernhardt and that she needs to be distracted if she doesn't seem to be acting quite like herself (cause she is one of those kids where if you ask her if her head hurts, not only does she say it hurts, but she then starts to believe her head really hurts!!!)  Then, I just ask whether they had a fire alarm that day, and the teacher said, "Yes, in fact, we did, how did you know?"  Then I put two and two together.  My daughter was holding her ears in class because of the loud fire alarm and she was trying to prevent another one from hurting her ears.  Her ears didn't really hurt, but when asked if her ears hurt, she, of course, said, "yes!"  Mystery solved!

Now, back to the child who is actually sick.  After a little nap, Little Miss Monster wakes up.  Now, I mentioned that earlier in the week I thought she had a stomach virus and, as a result, had a pretty nasty diaper rash.  Well, she's been quite the dream to change a diaper these days...so the past few, she's turn into the Exorcist  child.  She screams, kicks and hits me while I am changing her.  I know, I shouldn't laugh at her when she's doing this, and trust me, I'm not laughing maliciously at her, but I am trying to figure out how to change her diaper without getting kicked in the chest or head.  It is quite the challenge.  Tonight, I really thought a neighbor was going to call Child Services on me because she was screaming sooooo loud and our windows were opened.  In any event, I hadn't done the best job changing her diaper and I wanted to make sure her diaper area was clean before putting her into PJs, so I decided to give her a quick rinse in the back, just to clean her diaper area.  But there she was, kicking and screaming and all I wanted to do in the bath was her diaper area.  Quite the challenge, I must say.  So, then I tried to get her dressed.  Mistake number I-don't-know for the day.  At this point, I don't care about her screaming and I didn't even try to put diaper cream on her tush, I just wanted her to not be naked going to bed.  I finally get clothes on her, and she's still swinging her arms at me.  So, to take her off of her changing table, I pick her up but pin her arms under mine so she can't swing them at my head.  So, do you know what she does?  She's so freakin' smart she starts trying to bite me!  I hope you are laughing, because at this point it's comical! 

And my other two kids keep coming up to me to find out what's wrong with the Exorcist child, and then they both try (at separate times, of course) to give me a hard time over something for another.  I let them know, especially as the older and wiser children, that I've spent all of my patience quota for the day on the Exorcist child and they better just get in line 'cause I couldn't be held responsible for what happened otherwise...no but seriously, I just told them she was crazy and I couldn't afford for them to be crazy too.  A little bribery of dessert and a little TV kept them in line.  Exorcist child wasn't allowed downstairs after all of that.  No, I didn't lock her in her room, but I certainly kept my distance! 

Okay, I know, I know, poor baby is sick, but it's not like I was shoving medicine down her throat.  Oh, which reminds me, that the doctor told me that I should give Exorcist child honey instead of cough medicine for her cough.  I thought that was a great idea!  Who doesn't like honey?  Exorcist child.  In fact, she disliked it so much, that after trying to give her a half of a teaspoon full, and smelling that her diaper needed to be changed, she not only refused the honey but proceeded to vomit up all over the changing table.  And still kept screaming...oh wow!

And my husband left me with Exorcist child and two others (who really were pretty much angels when they weren't trying to leave the dining room table and avoid eating dinner or jumping on each other with food in their mouths...I don't live in a barn, I promise you!  I kept trying to get them to sit at the table and use good table manners and eat their food, but tonight just wasn't Emily Post night at my house!)  while he went to services.  So after all was said and done and I spent time making a big dinner for everyone, I still had to clean up...which isn't a big deal, but I just felt like bitching about something else.  I guess I should call this Dali Mamma Lama and the Terrible, Horrible, Not So Good, Very Bad Day.  The End.