Time for a cool change (only this is not so cool)

Half way there and gearing up for the next type of chemo. The good news is that this next chemo side effects aren't as bad as the last - no nausea at least and I shouldn't be quite as exhausted - but these sound like fun: potential bone pain and numbness or tingling in my extremities. Fun, huh? Well, I am hoping that I don't feel those side effects and the rest of the summer is uneventful. Also, I don't like the idea that I have to sit with an IV for 5 hours each treatment, so I am trying to relax about it. People keep telling me that I should just bring things to take my mind off of the treatment, books, movies, etc., and I know I'll be fine once I actually have the first of these long treatments, but I don't care what anyone tells me, I am FREAKED out to have a needle in my arm and sit there for 5 hours while poison is put in my body!

And, after hearing from another survivor who had cancer much further along than I had, but who didn't have to have as much medicine as I do, when they got EVERYTHING (all of the cancer) out and the cancer hadn't even spread to my lymph nodes, I get pissed off! I KNOW the reason that I'm doing what I'm doing is because one of my hormone receptors came back positive and that IF a microscopic cancer cell got somewhere else in my body, this receptor tells the cancer to grow stronger, faster, harder (like the 6 million dollar man, but not nearly as cool as that) but I can still act like a pre-schooler and stomp my feet and say it is not fair, as long as I continue with the treatment, which I know I will do.

Okay, enough bitching for today. I'll post after Friday and let you know that everything was fine, because I know everything will be fine. But, just like it took my 5 year old until this past Monday to put his head underwater at his swim lesson without crying, so it will take me until I have my first treatment with this chemo before I will feel comfortable. I know, bad analogy, but when your 20 month old wakes you up at 5:00 am screaming, sometimes the pen doesn't flow as smooth. Bright spot - tomorrow we head to Sesame Place and all the kids are psyched (and so am I!)