Filler up, please?

So, now I'll talk about the expansion process. First of all, my plastic surgeon has the bedside manner of a hobit. He made me feel like my breasts were never going to look good afterwards and said outright that if I was going through a mastectomy for cosmetic purposes, I had the wrong idea. Are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, yes, I did and still do have hopes that my breasts look great when this process is done, this was FAR from my reasoning to have the double mastectomy. I was going for peace of mind, not waking up every morning thinking I still had cancer in my breast, you know, reasonable considerations.

I did go for a second opinion, and that plastic surgeon assured me that while my surgeon had awful bedside manner (much different than my cancer surgeon who is a saint) that he did good work and was really just a perfectionist. I could handle that.

So, after my surgery, this guy looked at my boobs once a week to determine the next step. Step one was to get out the disgusting drains. Couldn't have been more thrilled that they were out less than a week after surgery. Boy, were those things painful and pulling and gross and ugh! I came back the next week, and two nurses took syringes filled with saline, and literally, within 20 seconds, my breast size had grown! I have little metal ports that make this process so easy! Then, the doc would come in, look at his work and say he'd see me in a week.

I went through this process five times, the last one was the worst. See, the purpose of these expensions in to expand the pectoral muscle, because once all the breast tissue is gone, there is nothing left to hold up an implant, so for a mastectomy patient, the implant goes behind the pectoral muscle, which needs to be stretched to withstand the new implant. I could not lay down flat, or at all for a few weeks after the last stretching. As much as I wanted my breasts to be as big as they had been before, my pectoral muscle reminded me they could only be so big. So, while they will be quite perky and braless for all eternity, they will never quite be the size they were before.

I just cannot wait for the new ones to come in so I can feel something other than hard rocks behind my skin...